Consider a sock.

Socks are worn on the foot. They are used to reduce friction, separate bare tootsies from hard leather, keep feet warm, dry, and full of lint. Socks are made of nylon, wool, or cotton. They can be half socks, ankle socks, knee socks, leotards, or body stockings. Socks can be pulled up on the leg so they will creep back into your boots, or folded over the top of the boot so rocks can get inside. They can be of subdued color or fluorescent green. The latter is preferred so if you get lost you can stand on your head and attract attention by waggling your feet.

Socks can be used for a wind stock, pulled over the head and used for a disguise, pulled over the hand and used for a mitten, or filled with rocks and used as a blackjack (could this be known as socking it to someone?) They can be unraveled and knitted into a dickey or crocheted into a doily. One sock can be used for a hat. They can be filled with water, placed in the refrigerator, and used as an ice tray. They can be nailed up on the mantle for Christmas. They can be filled with paperbacks and used for a book bag. They can be equipped with a drawstring and used for a purse. They can be cut into strips and woven into potholders. The toe can be cut off and used for a nose warmer. The heel can be cut off and used for an elbow warmer. The ankle can be cut off and used for a wrist warmer. If your feet are getting cold by this time, cut up an old glove and use it for a foot warmer.

With this wonderful world of new and exciting things to do with this fantastic product, how can you longer resist running out and buying 63 pairs of socks? Wonderful things can be done with 126 socks. If you ever find a 124 footed mastodon, you can outfit both it and yourself at a moment’s notice.