Wednesday, March 7, 2012

PHantom on an animal with 63 chromosomes



A year ago I took BFF Becky to Phantom on a mule, and I was agreed to do it again with my sister this year. It took a few months on the phone to score two nights at the Ranch. Last year I got the two nights with a month's notice: this year was harder.

To complicate matters, I had to spend the day before teaching at the Guide Training Seminar. I gave my world-famous Mary Colter talk, and since I will use any excuse to dress up, I wore my Mary Colter costume as well. So I got to walk around Grand Canyon Village and the Bright Angel Lodge whilst channeling Mary Elizabeth Jane Colter.

Showed up in the morning at the corral; last year we forgot the mule slickers, so this year I had them in the car the day before. Teri was on duty assigning mules, and she promised to give me the best one. Bebe did turn out to be an excellent mule. The top of the trail was glare ice, and the mules were a bit antsy picking their way down. The riders with us were "experienced" and insisted on riding their mules. One does not ride the Canyon mules: one parks the reins on the mule's neck and goes along where he/she wishes. When one holds the reins, the mule thinks it is supposed to slow down, so their mules were always falling behind: not good. When the mules fall behind, they realize they are not in the herd, and may panic and run to catch up.

Going down with Becky last year, I was pretty well terrified. Of course, it didn't help that Becky and I were discussing what we would do when the mule fell off the edge. I would jump off the mule so it wouldn't land on me: Becky would stay on the mule so it would cushion the fall. Our wrangler was laughing at us so hard, I thought she would fall off her own mule.

This year, it wasn't as scary. Don't know if Bebe was a more secure mule, or if, having done it once, I was more secure.

The layover day we hiked to Ribbon Falls. Suzan wasn't sure she would make it, but she did fine.

On the day out, it was snowing on the South Rim. This was not in the forecast, nor in the plans. I had lots of clothes, but it would have been nice to put on my rain pants BEFORE I started out, and to have my neck gaiter, and my waterproof mittens. I did, however, put on my slicker before I got on the mule. The experienced riders clambered onto their animals, looked at Suzan and me, and asked, "Should we wear our slickers?".

It started snowing in the Inner Gorge. It was amassing drifts at the Tonto. The wind started blowing at Skeleton Point. By the time we got to Cedar Ridge, the wind was gale force. It took off one of the experienced rider's hats. "We don't need to tie them on: they fit fine". By now the wranglers were spooked, and they tied the slow mule behind the lead. Her rider then proclaimed, "Oh! I didn't know we were supposed to keep the mules that close together." Yeah, the wranglers only yelled every few seconds to keep the mules close together.

Mules like to turn their butts to the wind. Coming out in a gale-force wind, this can be a problem. Bebe, stalwart animal that she is, did not, unless the mule in front did, in which case, she obligingly turned her back to the gale as well.

I wasn't even sure Bebe could see in the blowing snow, but I guess she did, since we lived.

Riding down on the mule really hurt my good knee: the bad knee always hurts. Hiking down doesn't hurt my knees that badly. Got a nasty saddle sore,too, even though I wore my padded biking pants. Don't get those hiking.

Note to wranglers: there have never been meteorites in the Grand Canyon. There is no petrified wood in the Inner Gorge. The Anasazi did not plant their corn on a hillside, and carry water in buckets up to the top and let the water run down onto the crops. I'd like to see an Anasazi bucket, come to think of it. The handle would have been hard to sculpt in clay. Do they think no one on these rides ever reads?

The following week I was hiking down the BA, and ran into Teri, who had just sent off another herd of mules and tourons. "How did you like Bebe?", she asked.

"I loved Bebe," I assured her.

"Next time I'll give you another good mule!"

"So, out of curiosity, who gets the bad mules?"

She and K-Bar exchanged a look. "The know-it-alls".

So, since I know nothing, and admit it freely, I guess I'm safe.