Tuesday, October 13, 2015

Dogs are not allowed in the backcountry of National Parks.  Dogs negatively affect the wildlife, even when they are leashed.  Canine fecal matter carries a number of diseases and parasites, which may be passed on to wildlife.  Most dogs are not good hikers: their paws become lacerated and since they sweat through their feet, it is easy for them to overheat. 

However, there are those who cannot bear being away from their fuzzy loved one for the length of a hike in the wilderness, so they bring them along.  Even where it is prohibited.  How, you may ask?  Just say it is a service dog.

Bingo.  No one may question the service dog ploy.  Websites selling service dog vests, collars, and even bandanas, brag, “Take your dog anywhere”.  Then they sanctimoniously add that they sincerely hope that no one is gaming the system by registering a service dog which is not in fact a service dog. 

Right.

A true service dog is trained.  They do not go off leash, ever, and said leash is not retractable.  They do not bark at children, or anyone else.  They do not sit on their owners’ lap in the restaurant and eat from the plate. 

A therapy dog doesn't need to be trained.  It doesn’t even need a doctor’s note. 

Public entities, such as Park Rangers, may ask if the person is disabled and if this is the service dog.  They may not ask the manner of the disability.

The person may be asked what major life task the animal is trained to perform.  Websites warn that one should have the answer memorized so “it flows smoothly”.  Duplicitous?  Nah. 

No paperwork required.  This is on the honor system.  Period.  ADA is not pleased.  They are concerned that the rights of those with disabilities will be undermined by those who simply want their Fido along everywhere they go and are willing to lie to achieve their ends.

There is no really good way to address this on the trail.  One is allowed to ask, compassionately, what the dog is trained to react to and what, as a caring professional, one should do upon that occasion.  This evokes a blank stare from those who have not rehearsed their smooth response.  One can, if one is in a snarky mood and out of uniform, mention that liars go to Hell.

This is becoming enough of a problem that some states are passing laws penalizing passing one’s dog off as a service dog.  Grand Canyon National Park requires a special permit.  Yellowstone requires a special permit, and therapy dogs are prohibited in the backcountry (they have bears and wolves, after all). A Park is allowed to close an area to service animals if it is determined that the animal poses a threat to the health or safety of people or wildlife. 

So what is the harm if the dog is well behaved?  Surely rotten children do more damage to the wilderness.  After all, dogs don’t spray paint their name on the rocks.  So at what point does one decide that this is a law we will ignore, and this is a law we will obey? 

Permit required for overnight camping?  I’m a good person: I won’t need no stinkin’ permit.  No campfires? I’ll build a small fire – no harm, no foul.  Carry out my trash?  But I’m so tired!  The question becomes: are you an ethical person, or are you not?


My son tells me that Wiccans don’t need revenge: we have Karma.  I myself would hesitate to brag to all and sundry that I need a service dog when I in fact do not.  Fate might take a hand and mutter, “You want a service dog?  I’ll give you a reason for a service dog, and see how you like it”. 

Wednesday, October 7, 2015

The Coconino Sandstone at Grand Canyon is many things to many people.

To the hiker it means he/she is almost at the top.  To the artist it is a graceful sweep of sculptured stone.  To the geologist it evokes the trade winds blowing across Aeolian dunes 265 million years ago. To the graffiti punk it is a blank canvas.

Robert Frost said “something there is that doesn’t love a wall.”   Some people there are who cannot love an unsullied monolith without wanting to sully it.

Unfortunately it is easy to scratch names, drawings, and/or dates into sandstone.  Fortunately most of the time it is easy to erase same using water, a scrub brush, elbow grease, and some occasional blue language.  For those media which are not easily removed, such as paint or marker, I must rely on Park Rangers who have more powerful tools at their disposal.  Rock-colored mastic to cover the panel, or actually excising part of the rock. 

It is the policy of the Park Service to remove such vandalism within 24 hours.  Unmolested graffiti invites others to leave their mark.  Also it is ugly. 

College students write their team names or fraternity letters. Names and dates are ubiquitous.  Quite a lot of hearts, also male genitalia. Occasionally Bible verses.    One Halloween I erased ghost drawings from a fossil footprint panel. 

Some pieces of art are so elaborate one wonders how the vandal was not caught in the act.  One gentleman composed a 200-word eulogy for his late wife at Ooh Aah Point.  Some foreign visitors executed a four-foot by six-foot Swiss Flag.

When confronted, vandals will often claim that the place is so beautiful, they want to be able to bring their grandchildren back and show their descendants where they had been.  Ever heard of selfies? 

If they leave a last name, phone number, or hash tag, I turn them in to Law Enforcement.  Otherwise I take comfort in my son’s advice: Wiccans don’t need revenge, we have Karma.

It is a common fantasy amongst my acquaintances to catch one of these clowns in the act.  We have shared elaborate scenarios of revenge, from scratching a name on their car to writing “Hayduke lives!” across their shirt. 

I have caught people in the act.  Small children I admonish:  This is a National Park and it is not fair to spoil it for other people.  Adults I advise that it is obvious they don’t hike much, because experienced hikers know better. 

Recently I came across a young tween who was industriously drawing on a flat rock.  Her responsible adults had wandered off to a nearby viewpoint. 

I produced my squirt bottle and brush, erased the offending intaglio and advised her that graffiti is not only illegal but unsightly and rude.  Then I continued on my way.

Upon my return, she had reproduced the drawing on the same rock. 
Next time I dislocate her little thumbs.