The Coconino Sandstone at Grand Canyon is many things to many people.

To the hiker it means he/she is almost at the top.  To the artist it is a graceful sweep of sculptured stone.  To the geologist it evokes the trade winds blowing across Aeolian dunes 265 million years ago. To the graffiti punk it is a blank canvas.

Robert Frost said “something there is that doesn’t love a wall.”   Some people there are who cannot love an unsullied monolith without wanting to sully it.

Unfortunately it is easy to scratch names, drawings, and/or dates into sandstone.  Fortunately most of the time it is easy to erase same using water, a scrub brush, elbow grease, and some occasional blue language.  For those media which are not easily removed, such as paint or marker, I must rely on Park Rangers who have more powerful tools at their disposal.  Rock-colored mastic to cover the panel, or actually excising part of the rock. 

It is the policy of the Park Service to remove such vandalism within 24 hours.  Unmolested graffiti invites others to leave their mark.  Also it is ugly. 

College students write their team names or fraternity letters. Names and dates are ubiquitous.  Quite a lot of hearts, also male genitalia. Occasionally Bible verses.    One Halloween I erased ghost drawings from a fossil footprint panel. 

Some pieces of art are so elaborate one wonders how the vandal was not caught in the act.  One gentleman composed a 200-word eulogy for his late wife at Ooh Aah Point.  Some foreign visitors executed a four-foot by six-foot Swiss Flag.

When confronted, vandals will often claim that the place is so beautiful, they want to be able to bring their grandchildren back and show their descendants where they had been.  Ever heard of selfies? 

If they leave a last name, phone number, or hash tag, I turn them in to Law Enforcement.  Otherwise I take comfort in my son’s advice: Wiccans don’t need revenge, we have Karma.

It is a common fantasy amongst my acquaintances to catch one of these clowns in the act.  We have shared elaborate scenarios of revenge, from scratching a name on their car to writing “Hayduke lives!” across their shirt. 

I have caught people in the act.  Small children I admonish:  This is a National Park and it is not fair to spoil it for other people.  Adults I advise that it is obvious they don’t hike much, because experienced hikers know better. 

Recently I came across a young tween who was industriously drawing on a flat rock.  Her responsible adults had wandered off to a nearby viewpoint. 

I produced my squirt bottle and brush, erased the offending intaglio and advised her that graffiti is not only illegal but unsightly and rude.  Then I continued on my way.

Upon my return, she had reproduced the drawing on the same rock. 

Next time I dislocate her little thumbs.