Well, I lost it at the dinner table.

Over stew dinner at Phantom Ranch, someone mentioned that "they" want to put in an elevator into the Canyon, and at first I thought they referred to the old plans to install an elevator at the site of the Little Orphan Mine, and then I realized they were talking about the Confluence Tramway.

A very small minority of the Dine people are working with Anglo developers to install a tramway to the Little Colorado Confluence, with a walkway, a restaurant  and supporting helicopters and river trips.

So, thinking to educate and gather support to block this nefarious plan, I chimed in. "Oh, no, that's a gondola they want to install at the Little Colorado."

"Oh, not here.  That's OK."

"Yes, especially if it is for people who aren't physically capable of getting down here."

So I lost it.

"The Canyon is a shrine to the Hopi People!  Should we put a climbing wall on the spire at St. Patrick's Cathedral?  I'm physically incapable of climbing Everest.  Do we need a gondola to the summit?"

The lady across from me looked prettily confused, and then told her companion: "Did you hear that?  They want to put a climbing wall at St. Patrick's Cathedral!"

I believe I stared in disbelief, and then the man to my left asked for details.  So I told them, "Get online and sign the petition:  Save the Confluence."

Is this American entitlement?  If someone is "physically incapable" we have to accomodate them?  Particularly since "handicapped" people drive into closed roads all the time (with a permit, available from Park rangers) and then proceed to hop nimbly out of the car to take pictures?  They can't hop nimbly in and out of the shuttle busses, one supposes.

I'm afraid of exposure.  So I am mentally incapable of climbing Woton's Throne.  So let's put a gondola up that, also.

I can't sing like Cher.  So let me lip-sinc to her recordings and get paid for it.

I can't paint like Van Gogh.  So let me put my own signature on his work.  

We all have limitations.  We need to emphasize our abilities instead of capitalizing on our incapabilities.

Also, go to Save the Confluence and sign the petition.  

I have been scanning old pictures to reduce my paper load.  Right now there are boxes and albums all over the office floor.  (why, yes, Robbie is an only child).

Some things I have noticed;

I did have the most gorgeous baby in the world, thank you very much.  At times he was the Child from Hell, but gosh, he was pretty.  People used to ask me, "What is her name?", and I would reply "Roberta".  Probably explains a lot.

I made a lot of costumes.  I wanted a girl so I could sew the kind of fluffy, pink, girly things that I do not wear.  Instead I made Star Trek uniforms, Ren Faire garb, and Dune Fremen costumes.  If Robbie had an oral report to do, he had a costume for it.  And weapons to match.

Robbie had some rather unfortunate haircuts.  He just informed me that I used to cut his hair (which I did), but I retaliated that I never gave him that mullet.

Wherever we went, I tried to give him experiences.  We had memberships to every museum within 50 miles.  We spent so much time at the Phoenix Zoo, that the shuttle drivers knew him and would give him free rides.

We spent a lot of time in the Grand Canyon.  I remember Robbie complaining: "We're going to Phantom Ranch for Christmas AGAIN?"  The Christmas tradition started when Robbie was five, and I figured if he hiked out of the Canyon on Christmas Eve, he would go to sleep that night.

Now that he's in New York, I have lost my costume buddy.  Brad won't go to anything that he has to dress up as a Terran Empire officer, or a Renaissance noble.  I gave up on the nobility bit, though.  They wore too many clothes.  Now I am a merchant's wife.

Just before Robbie and Renata took off, we intimidated Renata into wearing Garb for the Ren Faire.  She hated it, but I told her if WE were dressed up and SHE wasn't, SHE would be even more embarrassed that she usually is when she is out with us.

For a long time, Robbie would only wear 100% cotton, and NO zippers.  So I sewed his clothes, and I did come up with some fairly strange outfits.  One day he was dressed in yellow and orange (with a propeller beanie) and was attacked by a baboon at the zoo.  Fortunately, he was behind glass (the baboon, not Robbie).

 

Whenever I was trying to convince Robbie not to get a tatto, I could point to his past passions.  What if he had gotten a Blue Power Ranger tatto?  Or a Pokeman Charizard?  Wouldn't he feel kind of dumb about it now?  

Also, this kid is seriously weird.  Probably gets that from me.  However, if he goes gaga and starts stalking people with a Zelda Sword, or hacks into the Pentagon  it is not my fault.  It will be proof that he is inherently evil.

 I have pictures of us at the Boston Light, the Freedom Trail, Boston Museum of Science (EVERY weekend), lots of dangerous cliffs, wading at the Boat Beach in December.  I remember he lost his shoe in the mud, and when he told me, my answer was, "And?".  I did a lot for that kid, but I refuse to swim in the 40-degree mud in the end of December looking for a shoe.  He did find the shoe.

What is it with people and their dogs?

I have known people who would accept accusations against their child as a justified and deserved, but say something about their canine at your peril.  Seeing how his grandparents treat their dog, my son complained, "I never got away with stuff like that!"

And now they are on the trails.

Some trails are acceptable for dogs on a leash.  On a leash.  Dog owners seem to believe that undomesticated animals such as elk, javalina, or coyotes should somehow be trained to stay away from their free-roaming pets.

Dogs on a leash are not going to get into an altercation with a potentially lethal predator.  They are not going to affect prey animals as a predator (and yes, canines are predators).  The most well-mannered and timid of dogs can turn into a ravening beast when faced with a wild animal.  Or more often than not, with another hiker.  They are not going to run off after a tantalizing scent and have to be chased down by an expensive and hazardous Search and Rescue operation.  S and R operations which could well be needed elsewhere.  "I'm sorry you were lying with a broken leg for five hours, but we had to capture a lost dog".

However, some trails do not allow dogs.  Usually in National Parks. This is the way it has been for lo, these many years, and yet still when I gently (the first time it is gentle) remind dog owners that their pet is not allowed on backcountry trails, I am always met with:

"Since when?"

"I didn't see a sign." (there is usually one at the trailhead)

Or, more and more lately, "Oh, this is a service dog."

Full disclosure:  my mother-in-law trains comfort dogs.  She sees no reason for her dogs to be hiking on the backcountry trails.

I am acquainted with the only search and rescue dogs in Grand Canyon National Park.  They are not allowed on the trails unless they are on a mission.  They do not go trotting along behind their owner without specific training objectives, which a day hike in and out the Bright Angel is not.

Legally I can't even ask to see these dogs' papers.  I can ask what they are being trained for, but I can't do more than that.  Service dogs in the Grand Canyon are required to get a special permit from the Backcountry Office before they are allowed below the Rim, but I have yet to meet anyone who seems to know this.  If I am in a really snarky mood, I have been known to say something along the lines of "Liars go to hell, you know", but usually I just sigh deeply and advise them to stay away from the mule trains.

Last week I met a lady with a rat dog in her arms.  I was informed that he was "being trained".  To be carried down the South Kaibab?  I rather think they were on their way to stay at Phantom Ranch, and dogs are not allowed in any hotel properties in Grand Canyon.  That would have been interesting.

If people can't stand to be without their subservient animal for a half day, let them brazen it out.  Don't wimp out with a phony "service dog" excuse.  As one backpacker did on his way down the Bright Angel.

"Since when?  This is the only place I've ever been  told my dog isn't allowed."

I said, "Did you get an overnight permit?"

Pause.  "Of course".

"Well, it is written on the back, where you were supposed to read the regulations and sign off on them."

He snorted and headed on down the trail.  I suspect he had no permit either, but since there was a ranger working at Mile and a Half House, I knew he wouldn't be heading down for long.

Service dog trainers I know are concerned about dog owners taking advantage of the service dog provision.  Too many people are getting service dog certification so they can take their dogs into eating places, or hotels, or into the backcountry.  It putting up with "service dogs" where they have no legitimate business becomes too great of a problem, it is likely that the rules will tighten drastically.

But, hey, if my rat dog gets to travel down the trail in my arms, it worked for me, didn't it?