Monday, August 27, 2012

On our usual weekend workout hike to Skeleton Point and back, as we were climbing back out, three separate parties asked us if it is really harder to hike uphill.

What exactly does one  say? 

"This is a trick question, right?"

"Why no: the Park Service hires me to pant noisily and sweat profusely as a cautionary tale."

"Don't believe all that propaganda: hiking up is a piece of cake.  In fact, I recommend you do a rim to rim to rim this morning."

I suppose one response would be to stop, regard them in an attitude of disbelief, and ask, "Have you ever in your life hiked uphill before?  In which case, why are you heading down 4800 feet to the River?  Which precludes hiking 4800 feet BACK OUT?"

Ranger call the Grand Canyon the world's biggest Venus Fly Trap.  It is SO easy to wander down.  Not so easy to wander out.  Well, there are those persons who arrive at the bottom totally exhausted, which does make one wonder why they kept going.

Pam Cox, who was Phantom Ranger for many years, used to ask hikers how far they intending to hike down.  Often the response was: "We'll walk until we get tired, and then start out."  What is wrong with this plan?

My BFF, Dan, likes to hike rim to river to rim every time he is in the neighborhood, and usually he cons me into going along with this mad plan.  Last time  I told him I would accompany him to  the Tipoff, and then turn around, because I had to work the following day. 

So down we sauntered, talking and gossiping and catching  up, and, lo and behold, I was at the River.  The Colorado River.  I looked at the Black Bridge and muttered, "Darn.  (I didn't say darn).  I didn't really want to do that.  And there is only one way out now."

If I can get to the bottom without fully thinking about it, what hope is there for someone who has never been to the bottom and out?  Who doesn't even understand that,  yes, hiking out is harder than hiking down.  That's one of the reasons I do it: to keep in shape.  It is one of the reasons people pay through the nose to ride a mule.  It is the reason so many visitors ask why there isn't a gondola, or a cog railway or  an  escalator back out.

Hiking uphill is harder than hiking downhill.  You heard it here first.

Saturday, August 25, 2012

We walked along the rim last night and did not hear one word of English.  How come every other country in the world gets long vacations?

Rode out to Shoshone Point this morning, and a paragrine falcon flew within a few feet, then circled overhead.  We have seen a pair of falcons on the South Kaibab for a while, and think they may be nesting.  Maybe this was payback for picking up Skeleton Point yesterday, except it was Brad who actually carried out the yuck.

Friday, August 24, 2012

I thought graffiti artists were low .  This morning at skeleton point I surprised a lady just pulling her pants up ( rather sheepishly) and I half smiled thinking" oh, that must be embarrassing" but then saw that she had actually dumped a big load right in the middle of the viewpoint.  "it is considered more polite to bury that!" I yalled to her retreating back, but she kept going.

just as I am the nemesis of graffiti, so is  Brad the prince of poop. He pulled out gloves a shovel and a bag and cleaned up the mess.  We considerd if it was worth it to chase her down and hand it to her. But declined.  No pictures, but probably just as well.

Wednesday, August 15, 2012


Once at a ranger program, said ranger asked what we think of when we hear the words “park ranger”?  I yelled out of the darkness, “overeducated and underpaid”.  The ranger doffed her hat and yelled back, “Thank you, Slim!”.

Go online to any hiking chat site and it is said that Rangers just want to keep anyone from having fun.  Park Rangers care about animals and plants more than people.  Rangers spend all their time in offices and don’t appreciate those who are Really Trying to Enjoy the Parks.  

This from the Park Service Website:  The National Park Service preserves unimpaired the natural and cultural resources and values of the national park system for the enjoyment, education, and inspiration of this and future generations. The Park Service cooperates with partners to extend the benefits of natural and cultural resource conservation and outdoor recreation throughout this country and the world.
Preserve unimpaired.  So no gondolas, no condos, no cog railways.  Also no rock bolts, no permanent rock-climbing slings, no hunting.
Rangers want to keep us from having fun?  I have never confronted a person who was throwing rocks over the edge, carving his name on a tree, or cutting switchbacks and, coincidentally, starting rock slides on those below, who has not claimed that he was just “having fun”.  We once spoke rather sternly to some Boy Scouts who were building a concrete monument atop a mountain in the Superstition Wilderness (true!) and were informed that we were stopping some “red-blooded American fun”.  
I once went on a tour which involved flying to Page, trucking to Antelope Canyon, and a flat water river trip.  Participants on the tour spent a lot of time complaining about “#$^%& park rangers and the fact that they were: 

1) trying to eliminate Canyon overflight (not so: just trying to rein them in)

2) interfere with Antelope Canyon tours (not even close: that is the Navajo Nation)

3) not allow day tours on the river below Lee’s Ferry (guilty: no way to get out for at least 89 miles once you leave Lee’s).

At which point the river boat guide asked me what I do for a living, and I said, I work for the Grand Canyon Association.  She then announced, “Hey, this lady works for the Park Service!”.  

Of course, I don’t.  We work in cooperation with same.  But I would be proud to.

Tuesday, August 7, 2012

It is particularly frustrating to totally clean up a graffiti mess and find another mess waiting a few hours later.

We were hiking down the North Kaibab to the Redwall Bridge and I spent several minutes cleaning up Coconino Overlook.  When we wended our way back up, lo and behold, there was graffiti again!  Names, tic-tac-toe games, and more names.  

I declaimed loudly that a graffitinator’s work is never done and hauled out my scrub brush.  At which point what to my wondering eyes should appear but our new Park Superindent who declaimed, “Oh, that means those kids who just left did this?”

He pulled out an iPhone for pictures, then an NPS radio.  When we reached the top, there was a bus full of kids surrounded by every law enforcement ranger in the park.  

Yes!  Vindicated!  If every rock head who scratched his/her name on the walls was tagged by the LE rangers, I bet the problem would vanish.  

Then the LE rangers asked if I had, indeed, cleaned up Coconino Overlook.  When I modestly admitted yes, it was one of the many services I provide, they genuflected in my presence, because it meant THEY did not have to go down and do it themselves.